ab imo pectore



ALL I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO CARE

BUT YOU DONT SEEM TO BE BOTHERED

THE BITCH

| Jessica |
| 010990 |
| virgorian |
| tpbusinessschool|
| communicationsandmediamanagement |
| exkatongconventgirl|
| cmmcouncil |
| tptennis |
| shopaholic |
| loudhailer |
| narcissist |
| camerahogger |
| denimwhore |
| partyanimal |
| procrastinator |

WISHFULTHINKING

| shower me with coach hunny and serenade a love song to me|

EXITS

|kimmie|
|gill|
|paan|
|amalina|
|vann|
|aretha|
|evande|
|fee|
|nicole|
|marianne|
|tracy|
|jasmine|
|faiz|
|gisella|
|melanie|
|clair|
|amanda|
|sonam|
|jac|
|faye|
|yanti|
|aida|
|euniceHOLE|
|trey|


SUICIDAL THOUGHTS





THE DEADLY PAST

June 2005
 July 2005
 September 2005
 October 2005
 November 2005
 December 2005
 January 2006
 February 2006
 March 2006
 April 2006
 May 2006
 June 2006
 July 2006
 August 2006
 September 2006
 October 2006
 November 2006
 December 2006
 January 2007
 February 2007
 March 2007
 April 2007
 May 2007
 June 2007
 July 2007
 August 2007
 September 2007
 October 2007
 November 2007
 December 2007
 January 2008
 February 2008
 March 2008
 April 2008
 May 2008


LUSTS

| money |
| topshoptop |
| divecert |
| accessories |
| phone |
| heels |
| macnotebook |
| cybershot |
| guesshandbag |
| fcuktop |
| fendispecs |
| pumps |
| edhardyshirt |
| coachwristlet |
| mangoshorts |
| dioreyepalette |
| guesswatch |
| crumplerlaptopcover |
| jeans |
| onepiece |
| handbag |


LOVE OF MY LIFE


i miss kc


besties <3


godsisters (:


some kinda magic


my babyy


my laughing gas


sexaye!


BFF <3


it's ladies night


sch's fun with them around


my leading ladies (:


Free file hosting by Ripway.com hits since 22nd November 2006

Thursday, August 31, 2006

3:39 AM

stressed out i am just way stressed out let's see ticket sales,prelims,the big os at the end of the year,the excessive phone calls bugging me on various kinda of shit and everything else it just seems to bug me way down.so much so that i've developed such a high fever just due to it.sometimes i really just wonder to myself is all these really worth it.i highly doubt so.i really want my parents to just cut off my phone line now and just like give me more room and space to do the studies which i so desperately need to do.sigh i totally screwed up my term3 ca tests totally screwed it up let's see with 18 points for my L1r2b2 i can go to what shit course la.even after minusing my 2 cca points and cip point i will still only have 15 points.ahhh what shit course can i end up going to man?gosh my results are just so so bad.i failed 2 subjects and got like 2As,1B,2Cs,1D and 1E.ahhh can someone just kill me right now.this is just so so so bad.i just wanna kick myself in the butt right now.it turns out that i got 57 for chinese.urghhh.gosh i need at least an A2 i really do not want to end up taking some shit course in poly.i do not want to just get dumped to whatever is available.that would just so suck.it is actually rather pathetic if that were to happen so i am going to ensure that i will never be thrown into such a situation ever again man.the lesson learnt from my chinese os was already bad enough.am so not looking forward to my birthday this year though.my head hurts,my body's temperature is practically soaring and everyone is just starting to irritate me now no matter who they are and whatever the circumstances may be.gosh alrights folks here's a warning if you were to call or message me and there is no reply that means i have gone into isolation so just piss off and leave me alone.yes thank you for your kind understanding.thirteen more days to my drama exam and my horror papers yeah though technically chinese is on the twelve but i have no idea how to study for that so yea.somebody save me.i think i am going to have a nervous breakdown really soon.thank god for those 84painkillers prescribed they are doing me real good now.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

3:01 AM

irritated by all the various things around me.pissed off by the people who come up and talk to me.like seriously i just want to be left alone.let me just lock myself up in a room now so i can just abstain from all the noise and crap from the various people who are just so starting to piss me off.little did i know the bad side behind the supposedly lovely price.little did i know that hell befalls me.why couldnt i have been smarter and took a closer in depht look before anything in the world and not think before i jump and accept whatever looks so fabulously good on the outside but it's like fuck on the inside.it seems as though my one mistake made when i was sec 3 caught me so far deep down stuck in this deep dark hole in which now it is just so hard for me to run away and get out of it.this one mistake has just stuck and clung on to me like a bloody parasite an indelible ink.one which i would definitely love to get rid of it but i just dont seem to know why.why do i always get tempted by that bait even though it is not that appetising even though it is totally wrong.i appears such that my lust for various objects of pleasure has taken over my body and soul that i just dont seem to be able to get a grip of things and for once actually make a wise decision with my brain and not with that lust deep down inside of me.why in the world do i just get tempted so freaking easily.now it's just a matter of time before this "disease" just grabs whole and take control of me.i just so want to break free but i do not know how.the first bite is always so sweet but the aftertaste is always ever so bitter yet we always remember the good things and forget or take the bad stuff for granted.that is something which i really should change.will somebody just teach me how.it has just turned into some crazy midsummer's madness and it is going in a crazy vicious cycle.so bad that it seems as though all four walls are just closing in on me and i just cannot get out even though i desperately want to do so.this black pitch is just drawing me deeper like that which quicksand does.i feel totally hopeless with this big problem which i now face.there is just so much more to the world than what i saw at first yet i somehow always just manage to let the various bad stuff happen to me.what blinded me so badly at first?can someone just change me.i now finally have seen those who are true to me and who just does not care.too bad fools you just loss a friend that was not even there.somebody please just save me from this madness before i just collapse from the weight of stress and somebody please prevent me from making the same mistake which i have made times and times again.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Monday, August 28, 2006

9:03 PM

idiots i really hate a guy so if your that person or know that person please so me a favour and just piss off.thank you.just admit that you suck alright why should i do such when yea i said that smount but some idiot did not want to pass it to me in the first place as you initially did not want to and naturally people will get irritated and choose to opt out yet you bloody fuckface just admit that you suck instead of pushing the blame to other people.trust me if i was not doing it under you you would so be seeing the wrath of me by now.yes there always is a breakpoint in which you'll see me pull the trigger so do me a favour and just admit that you suck.if everyone else can become so leniant why cant you?fuckface just admit that you yourself suck.marvellous now it's time for me to cook up some helluva story.urghhh how the fuck am i to get everything done by thurs.sigh this is so shitty.but actually what she said is true he cannot do anything to me as there was no agreement and all nothing was placed down in black and white so he cannot do anything.sigh this is when i so wanna quit them and everything and just concentrate on doing my own shit that would make everything so and way much more easier.i should totally learn on how to fend and do everything by myself from now on.screw the rest and all they can just die for all i care and yes i really dont mind if our so called friendship or whatever that is is strained as honestly i didnt think much of you yea honestly that is.so screw it i dont really intend to do your wishes as they dont mean shit yes fuck it this is where im just going to throw in the towel and not give shit about it anymore.yes folks jessica has finally learnt how to quit and so yea never ask her about such stuff anymore.owells guess now it's all up to spending more time with family and friends and not just partying my head off anymore.learnt from my lesson and i think now is totally the best time for me to quit.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;


6:42 PM

finally met up with my dear godsis on sunday.so wanted to pick her up on friday but damn drama ended late so wth.spent much time talking about soccer.yay epl babyy so yea it was pretty cool.met up with her again yesterday and boy was that fun though technically there was quite alot of walking but yeapp it was really fun.we had the best thing ever.ben and jerrys and trust me her reaction was priceless the woman at the counter kept staring and laughing at us.HAHA hilarious.o and i just realised one thing yesterday too.if you think the breeze at esplanade is nice at night go check it out in the day yes it is gorgeous.yea just thank me for being so retarded for going there only at night.yeapp that's right it really is a million times nicer in the day.so cam whored a little there was pretty need and we took some really priceless pictures.yea if you know me ask me to show them to you.i also noticed that i am really not at all familiar with many places in singapore.tell me about it i didnt know practically 1/3 of the shops in marina square actually existed and woots i saw a new pair of jeans i love today.now once again the question is should i or should i not get them?gosh tell me about it and so once again the day is saved thanks to the trying on of many many shades.i'm going skiing end of year i bet yr jealous.HAHA.cant think of what to blog about shall blog again later.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Thursday, August 24, 2006

2:17 AM

blast down with a bloody headache yet again.went to the hospital to see a neurologist on tuesday and what the hell he like gave me 84 painkillers so much for that i can just die eating so many but what the hell i dont think it is doing me much good though as damn my head still hurts it's starting to get rather irritating as i dont seem to be able to sleep it off.ahhhh somebody help me my headache is killing me.doing a headscan on 4th sept.im scared.HAHA.anyway physica practical went kinda shitty today though the first question was rather manageable the second one was hell i didnt know how to do it at all and that means like 13marks GONE!!!someone please tell me that i can still be able to get at least a b3 for my prelims yes please say that to me as im really starting to freak out after what had happened earlier.i mean the questions were not even phrased properly like what the hell how did x suddenly appear in the question.urghhh im depressed now.went starbucks after that with rina and vann yes we WALKED from school to there how nice and though far it seems it really is not at all that was like four bus stops kinda crazy ya but we seriously did not feel it.it was what you can call fun.how i love bitching sessions today's topic was really good what was it?sorry that's kinda confidential if you know me you can ask me and i might tell you.really sorry guys i might not be able to make it for dinner tomorrow though yea kinda stuck in some family dinner yes i know i owe you guys one but what can i say it's my grandfather's birthday.talking bout such my birthday's coming soon too and let me tell you something which made me uber happy.sasha will be here on my birthday!yes means for once after like what seems to be 21049713563872 years i get to celebrate my birthday with her.yes i know aint that grand.LOVE YOU BABE!owells im currently hooked onto paris hilton just cant get enough of her admit it people paris is your idea of HOT to all you doofus out there just admit that your just jealous of her.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Thursday, August 17, 2006

8:41 PM

sick im feeling so sick right now.my head is spinning uncontrollably my left side of my stomach is hurting like fuck.i slept for like 12hours yet everything still hurts and feels not right.o god!what the hell is going wrong.yesterday was bad my stupid tension headache came for like an hour and a half and it was like so fucking bad seriously you could just die.worst of all i had a sudden blurred vision which lasted for like 3mins?but yes that was bad i was like fuck why cant i see properly suddenly urgh i just want to kill myself now and the wosrt part is everybody is just like jess sleep earlier screw it la i would sleep earlier if i could but the problem is i cant get that bloody fact doofus?trust me at times like that you just seriously want to just lie there and die.dammit.anyway got my lovely vipers and i absolutely adore them they are just like what i would call the best things to be ever created yet.everything about it is just so damn beautiful and you can just play with them for hours and yes i really mean hours.i guess im just hooked to them right now it's seriously just so unbeliveable.am like so hooked onto paris hilton now she's like the hottest person on earth yes and all you idiots out there who just hate her well just admit it your just jealous about her.period.paris hilton IS paris hilton no one in the world can ever top her and trust me she is not as dumb as you think she is but she is in fact very sensible indeed three cheers for her.alrights perhaps it's just the fact that im hooked onto the simple life 4 now but owells mug time
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

7:10 PM

alrights english oral did not go as bad as i thought it would be.in fact it turned out to be nothing like the whole totally freaky experience which i had expected but instead it was a rather interesting and fun one.not one bit bad at all.though i technically so wanted to kick myself in the butt for muspronouncing one word.yes i cant believe i pronunced the last letter "d" as a "t" yes i know that was really bad.so hopefully i can still get my distinction in oral for that as yes that was a really dumb mistake which i know i could have avoided but thanks to my bloody cold my entire speech is rather off.what a day for it to be off though yes that pretty much sucked for the day but i thought the topic was rather dumb as it was more or less revolved around the theme of history yea like what a topic when the past few days were rather easy to handle.but owells what's done is done and i cannot change anything about it.anyway i am really sorry about what happened giss yes koh asked me to take out my phone and call you so i really did not have much of a choice really sorry babe hope everything went well yesterday and no worries i am very certain that you did not do anything wrong as that is just so not the giss that i know.well so much for yesterday.did not go to school today yes i cannot write properly again just busted my hand yet another time.owells so much for that.i am really starting to think that i am so going to bust my prelims as yes prelims are in like two weeks and guess what i am not one bit prepared or should i say that i am not even like say a quarter through into my revision.talk about bad yes i know that it is way bad.plus i still have my unfinished prepared talk to do.crap alrights i think i better go get things done now so longs
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Monday, August 14, 2006

4:09 AM

this is super spastic.the whole krunk thing is getting kinda complicated.yes if you think it is easy think again it is not.i am short of people again and yet again i am just too lazy to do anything.school was kinda insane today.thanks so much to the fact that i was late by like just a miserable 5 seconds i needed to waste my time spending one uber long hour at dc.though technically it was rather productive considering the fact that i managed to complete some of my raffles paper during it.so it was not say THAT bad.anyway my bloody teacher keeps picking on me.someone please tell her to go finger herself.yes i know i have turned polite once again.class was rather funny today there was like this uber big lizard in the class and everyone was screaming their heads off.yes i hate lizards especially those big black ugly ones.so much for that.owells just realised that im really bad at physics experiments yes that is the time where my brain just shuts down for some wierd reason.yes i'm sure you can tell especially by the time where i was trying to balance the block of glass on four metal pins.yea i know i do get rather cranky at times especially at times where i am not functioning as usual.owells.anyways thanks danielle!yes thank you so much for all the contacts.like i once said what will i do without you man.HAHA.you must be beaming having me said that.and no worry girl no matter what happens jessica will always be there for you and no jessica is not buying you an LV bag.HAHA.i'm not that rich la.owells just realised that my english oral is tomorrow.everybody just scream and run away now.ahhhh!i really hope that my teacher would be like ms j.yes she is nice and not one bit intimidating i like teachers that way less pmsy and they would help brighten your day too.am really starting to love the purple plate stall.everyone clap your hands for that stall which has brought us such lovely wonderful food.like quaiyum mr big ego said eat and enjoy all the good food now before you regret cause it's too late and yes your ego is as big as the "galaxy" what the hell who would want to get laid with you too.HAHA.kidding.and please dont go around telling everyone about the expanded butthole that's just wrong.anyway i really should stop now yes it is time to pick up that damned book and start to mug mug mug.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

11:20 PM

why dont you just go and fuck yourself perhaps that would just make everyone's life a million times better.feeling emo and pissed thanks for making life so miserable for me.please just stop trying to make it seem as though everything is basically my fault and all as you were the one who fucked things up just admit that you are just one big fucking loser.take note that no one asked you to go and all.you first self invited yourself then told everyone a whole bunch of fucking lies about me.you big fucking hypocrite seriously just go and fuck yourself you fucking dyke.note this fact you were the one who had practically no balls to do anything and guess who had to do it for you despite the fact that you are a guy and i a girl so would you seriously just fuck off.note this fact that i do not want to see or speak to you anymore thank you and also please remember this fact that sometimes the "things" i give you is also know as like a gift and please do not start going around telling people things do you know how fucking irritating it is so please piss off and i really mean it.thanks.alrights i shalt not dwell on the things that piss me off.anyways im starting to think i really do spend too much money on cab fares have been to lazy to take the bus and rain nowaday.geeesh i just realised that all those money can really account to many other things which i can buy.damn i want that deck of cards will someone get that for me please.yes and please fo not tell me that i spend too much on cards and my jeans too.yes someone sponser them to me.counting the days down to the much NOT awaited prelims.yes how time flies and how i am so not prepared for it.like what oprah once said "education is freedom" yet i still cannot catch the studying bug yet damn i am so starting to panic now.yesterday was a wash out though the movie part was pretty good.yes everybody go and watch my super ex girlfriend it is fabulous they had sex till the bed break sexaye right.anyway wanted to watch the fireworks but it was such a let down as we all went to esplanade but they did not allow us to go up to the roof so we ended up not seeing shit.owells so much for yesterday.anyways i for my jeans already how lovely but i just realised that one of my legs looks shorter than the other.sadly.well soccer is a game of eleven men,twenty one boots and only one "ball".HAHA.love that phrase.anyways so much for this ultra random post.so longs folks.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

2:59 AM

it is official i will be going over to england end of this year so longs singapore and hello ENGGALANNDDD.woots and what else does going to the fabulous england mean?yeapp that's right my dear loads and loads of irresistably hot guys.yes you heard me right think hot HOT guys.good golly i sound so desperate well then again perhaps that is just why i love desperate housewives that much.it's quite a pity that the last episode was like yesterday.yes the world cries with me.i really hate the fact that in hollywood when an asian actress acts in any show she must always be portrayed as one who firstly has quite a small role,secondly is not paid as much as her co actresses and thirdly she always never seem to be able to speak properly.yes that i really cannot stand.i mean what's with people and their stereotype asians equals chinese and chinese equals you cannot speak english and cannot pronounce it properly.yes and seriously what's with the supposed cheena-fied chinese accent.i mean but sorry honey but ever thought about the fact that we do in fact have such a thing called education in singapore and just to let you know too english is the language of communication here too.as seriously look at that local actress who acted as xiaomei in desperate housewives.i am sure she can speak proper english perfectly well and not only that my dears she is sure to be billingual with her chinese too.yes now that is called talent.beat that!so why in the world does she get a freaking role as one who is so helpless and totally pathetic in the show and speaks and articulates her words like a total idiot.marvellous now i bet everyone in the world would now so get the impression that singapore is in china and that we call speak chinese and we do not know how to pronounce or even articulate a single word of english.yes how perfect out so called speak good english image is now totally ruined.ahhh the horror.seriously we need a change in the system.yes someone make sure that all asians especially those who come and singapore and intend to act in hollywood flims please say it with me ARTICULATE your words well.dont think that just because you are in hollywood you should just try to make yourself sound as pathetic as possible but please use this as an opportunity to showcase to the world that we asians are as good as anyone else be it latino,hispanic or american we should not be looked down upon just because of some few people who cannot speak properly.come on people we should so be proud of our race and nationality.and yes this one goes out to all those perverts out there please stop associating asians women with prostitudes,masseuse,that other woman or porn stars.yes i do know that a certain HANDFUL do portray themselves as such take for example phatpong but that is because they need the money and do not have a choice.please tell me which woman in the right mind who is already so rich and yet she wants to pole dance and perform in stimulating shows for men.so seriously please get a reality check as i personally feel that you guys have only been exposed to lets say 0.00000000001% of the total asian population.think about it we can become one of the richest and most powerful women in the world too.yes women with great authority and are much feared by the public eye.take our prime minister's wife,mrs teo for example she is an amazing woman and is one of the most powerful women in the world despite the fact that singapore is such a small country yet we do strive and achieve greatness and i quote from twelth night."some are born great,some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them"we all come from a very much humble background yet we have achieved such great greatness shouldnt we be the ones who are inspiring others instead of others looking down on us?now that sure is a thought for everyone.prelims are coming soon.note to self study harder.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Friday, August 04, 2006

8:06 AM

guess who was i talking to?i was talking to SASHA.yes i love her.hurt her and i shall harm you.how effing cool she just came back from tunisia and trust me from her email the weather there sure is insane i so doubt i'll be able to take it there but damn to be able to travel across the sahara desert.i WANT!!that is just so uber cool.once in a lifetime experience baby bet that would be something i'll never forget.how nice rina's thingy is on tomorrow and the best part is she does not have a clue isnt it lovely i so cannot wait to see her face and the state of shock and surprise she will be in.now that is what i call a polariod picture perfect moment.hurrah bring out the cameras and all.once again the much awaited festival of praise is here again.crazy queues but just one whole night of absolute fun but seriously the queues are just insane thank god this time i have a queuer queueing up for me otherwise god knows where would i be sitting.doubt i can even enter the stadium man.speaking of stadiums i really want to attend the kids central live thingy this time sounds uber fun any takers on those who are interested in going for me yes it's going to be a wonderful time to get in touch with that inner kid in you.emath aka slacking period was crazy as usual today.what did we do?well let's say we did nothing but talk about the various shows on kids central yes as i said we are so deprived of our childhood.i seriously need a huge dosage of winx club now.yes like we all said today the girls in there are just so pretty though yes technically they are all cartoons but who cares la.anyways i've finally got a true role model who is worth looking up to yes non other than the fabolous oprah.i think if only there can be more people like her in the world life would be a little less painful and things would be much more happier we can say goodbye to poverty and all.well just sorta i guess.this is like the first time i've ever heard of someone giving a total stranger a house and not only that still furnish it with the bestest best things in the world.yes you must indeed be like but a saint to do that.yes and like the words of her "education is freedom" yes that is like my words of motivation to study now.yes prelims are drawing nearer and the pressure is accumulating.i totally flunked my chemistry today and yes i really did study hard.damn this probably shows me that i have not studied enough ahh damn the pressure yes i MUST do well this time.just realised that i am seriously neglecting my math dont know why but math is just starting to become but a bore to me.sigh just when i found my motivation for my other subjects sigh i think i need a wake up call for math as yes your right i did fail my recent test and yes i'm the last in class.blast being last really sucks now i know the feeling.owells that means more brushing up to do.dear Lord please inspire and motivate me.yay i cant wait for tomorrow it's the day.october skies so depict my mood now why is it always just so tough luck for me.is it really true that the grass is greener on the other side?
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

1:54 AM

fucked up i totally screwed on two of my good friends i feel really terrible now still cannot believe i did what i did.well i'm really sorry for that and i really do apologise yes i am very sorry.sorry babe.owells there are times i really do wonder why are people so fragile way cant we be such that we will never get hurt or get screwed up or anything.like thanks so much for always pushing the blame to me.i mean seriously you could have called too not like you have been trying to do that for very long.i really do hope you understand that i have a life too.like how i have always thought the getting together is always so sweet but the later parts are always so confusing and at times pretty painful too.well i shant talk about it further it will just make me more agitated and depressed.anyways i reserved my pretty crown jeans now all i have to do is to convince my dad to get it for me by like tomorrow which is the date which they can reserve it for me till.sigh but owells hopefully my convincing skills will work tonight as yes i know 559 for a pair of jeans is indeed quite alot but hey it's for my sweet sixteen and not everyone turns 16 everyday plus this year is even more special than usual so i really do hope that he will get that pair of jeans for me.anyways happy belated birthday laura i miss you so like what i have said before what will i do without you and yes sorry if you think the card is imcomplete as mom mailed it before i even finished writing it.yes i am really sorry hun.prelims are coming soon die and what can i say i failed emath.damn how did i managed to fail that subject owells guess it is time for me to start pulling up my socks again.owells but not too bad in a sense as i got 11.5/15 for geography and 21/30 for chemistry.yesh i am on my way to doing well i hope.
Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;